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5 Comments

  1. max max

    I think I’m the first one to read this AND I CANT WAIT FOR THE NEXT

  2. John John

    I don’t like how Hermoine killed Sirius, I didn’t like it in the OG and I had thought it would be changed. I don’t care if Sirius died or not but the way he died seems wasteful and Neville being in the bathroom makes little sense. Neville ran to the bathroom to get Harry while there was a fight going on for which he and the DA members ‘tried’ to get ready for doesn’t make sense. Also why did Harry decide to show Neville where the CoS was in the last chapter, Harry should have just used the ROR, it’s already been established that it can be used to create a bubble in the Horgwarts wards and he just apparated to the quidditch pitch when they came back from the bank so imo Hermoine could have still killed Sirius but rather than the bathroom it should have been while they were looking for Nagini or something like that.

    • My counter!

      While the RoR can create a bubble within the school, you cannot apparate to anywhere outside it (the reason I have that scene included is to ensure everyone is aware that the RoR has those limits). Otherwise it becomes a huge can of worms! Harry has, therefore, no choice but to take Neville to the CoS after he was expelled, it is the only way in and out without crossing the wards — this also applies in his return during this chapter.

      The quidditch pitch is primarily linked with the death of another person Harry is fond of (I set up a lot of scenes with the two of them there in the remaster for this purpose), so I don’t want anyone else to die there and ruin that association. Beyond that, the CoS has been a safe place for the entire duration of this fic, all the more so since he sealed it, Harry arriving there drags out that sense of safety, so the ambush is truly unexpected. Anywhere else and the reader senses a possibility of immediate danger, their guard is up, and the impact lessens.

      The anticlimatic death juxtaposes well with the grandiosity of everything else leading up to this moment and the grandeur of what the reader is expecting. This is a nice little reminder that things can go suddenly wrong and it doesn’t necessitate Voldemort being there to happen. Without it, the reader might shrug off the snake bite that follows, but with it, the possibility of death is right at the forefront of the readers’ minds!

      • John John

        I concede to the ROR thing because we were never given a complete description of what it can or cannot do and as it is your story so you are the one who decides how it can be used. I also agree with you on the point that an anticlimactic death was better and I never had a problem with how Sirius died but with how Hermoine ambushed them by following Neville who had no reason to be in that bathroom, after so much posturing about how he wanted to fight DE what was he doing in a bathroom while other students like Ron were trying to do something useful.

        • Ah, Neville’s reasons for going to meet Harry essentially boil down to him not wanting Harry roaming free within the school. He fears what Harry might do to those who, like Griphook, end up in the wrong place at the wrong time. Therefore, he goes to meet Harry and lead him to Voldemort and the Death Eaters rather than risk any collateral damage or deaths should Harry go off on his own. At which point, of course, it all goes wrong.

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